You Don't Know Them

They call her an idiot. Make jokes about her killing herself. Scoff at all of her achievements, no matter how big. They laugh at her behind her back. Even straight to her face. She's surrounded by anger and mockery; pain consumes her. No matter who stands by her side, she repeatedly falls victim to her own thoughts of just not being good enough. No words of encouragement even make it to her ears. She can't break free, she doesn't belong.

I'm ready to lose her, I know she seeks freedom. I can't force her to stay here, to enjoy life. I don't want her to, but now I know what it will mean, how people will approach me differently, how I will have to continually spend nights missing her. I understand. It is still not ok.

Already, I have been left behind. She is here still, but not really, not even a majority of the time. She is still joked about even though ninety percent of her is dead. You didn't know the girl I used to know. You don't know anything about this girl. She's not acting, she's in pain. Don't apologize to me for being her friend as you call her crazy, I love her. She may be mentally troubled, but that gives you NO right to call her that without knowing her story. If I had gone through the same trials I might be just as crazy as her, who knows?

I watch as they all hurt themselves, not able to jump the hurdles. Stumbling, falling, I try to catch them, but I can't catch them all. Finally I have figured it out, I'm not supposed to catch them, they need to fall on their face until they get it right. I'm just supposed to help them back up.

When it really ends, the pain, the fear, the hospital visits, the long nights of crying, the endless texts and calls to anyone who can temporarily sooth her emotions, will disappear. I, for a short period, will go too. Everything my life was built upon making better will have just drowned in itself.

Once she is gone everyone cares, no one realized where she was in life. That she had been ready to end it, that she wanted nothing more than to disappear. Now is the time to put on sad masks for a short while. The mourners can all join together, real and fake.

Blood covered, scarred, broken. Tell me you see it. Make me believe that when you let the words come out of your mouth you aren't just wanting to see them in more pain. Please show me that you know what you are doing.

That's right, you don't know them.

Sincerely,
                   Words of those left behind

Statistic Overload

Bullying statistics:

• About 42 percent of kids have been bullied while online with one in four being verbally attacked more than once.

• About 35 percent of kids have been threatened online.

• About 58 percent of kids and teens have reported that something mean has been said about them or to them online.

• Other bullying statistics show that about 77 percent of students have admitted to being the victim of one type of bullying or another.

• The American Justice Department bullying statistics show that one out of ever 4 kids will be bullied sometime throughout their adolescence. 

• 46 percent of males followed by 26 percent of females have admitted to being victims in physical fights as reported in one report of bullying statistics by the Bureau of Justice School.

Other bullying statistics:

• Over half, about 56 percent, of all students have witnesses a bullying crime take place while at school.
• A reported 15 percent of all students who don't show up for school report it to being out of fear of being bullied while at school.
• There are about 71 percent of students that report bullying as an on-going problem.
• Along that same vein, about one out of every 10 students drops out or changes schools because of repeated bullying.
• One out of every 20 students has seen a student with a gun at school.
• Some of the top years for bullying include 4th through 8th graders in which 90 percent were reported as victims of some kind of bullying.
• Other recent bullying statistics reveal that 54 percent of students reported that witnessing physical abuse at home can lead to violence in school. 
• Among students of all ages, homicide perpetrators were found to be twice as likely as homicide victims to have been bullied previously by their peers.
• There are about 282,000 students that are reportedly attacked in high schools throughout the nation each month. 

These are the statistics. Are you ok with them? Can you put that into perspective?

I cannot prove my statistics, they stand on their own reliability; the idea, is the important part. Even if the most bully-filled schools were surveyed, there would still be bullies within these schools. To me it doesn't matter what the statistics are, the reality is they can be dropped. You can have a hand in this, whether it be through kind words, telling a teacher, or standing up to a bully directly, you can help. Yes, it can be life changing, possibly even life saving. Don't be afraid, love is all that we live for. Whether you believe we were created only because of love or not, you can blatantly see that showing kindness, care, respect, and love to one another creates a more joyful society. Let's work together to beat these odds!
Love, Shannon
P.S. Any comments are welcome as well as stories of obstacles you have overcome or even struggles you are working through right now!

One Person at a time...Meghan McCain

This is Meghan McCain. Yes, she is Senator McCain's daughter. Her political position means nothing to this blog. Her views and life story, however, are exactly what you will be learning about today.

Meghan as a child was ridiculed for weight. With children it is understandable, but when a grown woman mocks another because of their size, it's no wonder that I don't believe maturity and age do not correlate. This is all too familiar to a teenager in high school. How does this help though? Look at how she handles it, look at what pain she must feel because of her involvement in press. Yet she is strong. Can we not fight with the same resilience in our daily battles with bullies?

McCain is a perfect example for another one of my beliefs. I sometimes wonder if bullies that victimize to numb their pain check to see what strength, passion, and pain there is in someone's eyes. Meghan was known to have had some bumps in the road during her life that are just unsuitable for the goodness of human nature, a calling card to any type of bully. I love when bullies go after these people that have dealt internally with their faults already. They fail, miserably. You cannot expect to get joy from being shot of your high horse while attempting to trample someone who is holding a shotgun.

This is a short piece from Meghan's TV show 'Raising McCain' on Pivot. clip holds importance, at least to me, because their testimonies hit so close to home for so many people. Did you listen to each of their stories? How they were personally antagonized for being themselves? I made this blog because I love people, I want there to be hope for those that live in the darkest places. That video is the epitome of hope. I'm not comparing myself to McCain, but I am proud that we both see that we are in a tunnel, not a sealed box.

When you feel like giving up, don't. Situations change so quickly that what you think is worth dying over today could just be a bad memory in a week. Stay positive, stay strong. The bullies may not go away, but you will grow to be stronger than them. People ask how to handle bullies, but the real question is how do you make oneself less angered or in pain, as well as how do I stopping getting in places that directly enable oneself to be hurt.

I have noticed that I put a moderate amount of questions on my blog. It is natural for me, the voice in my head is shown through the questions. Are they helpful for you though? (Yet another question...) This blog is not just to improve my writing skills, it is to provide a informational source that hopefully appeals to your emotions and thoughts. Maybe I am failing miserably at that, but I want to know what you think, so feel free to comment as always.
Thank you and I love you,
Shannon