Social Drain: The Similarity Between Men and Women

I am a girl, but honestly I don't believe ladies have it any harder than gentleman. My conclusion comes from people watching, when I'm out in places I like to look busy and just listen to people and watch their actions, purposely. I have seen girls who are scared, confused, who are lost in a sea of sadness. This also is true of men; they put on a face, but if you truly look, you see their doubt and fear. Have you ever looked at people, really looked at their facial expressions, how they change when they stop talking to someone, or how they have that one brief second where the mask comes off and you can see what they feel?

That being said, I don't believe even for a second the burdens are the same. Men carry around a burden of being perfect; women, being better than the next woman. For a guy, a foundation has been laid through movies and other media alike to be prince charming, strong, brave, tough, no weakness. Women are allowed to cry,complain, even be scared, as long as they have something about them that increases their desirability while doing so. Society has set a pattern in which both genders must follow, patterns unconformable, yet strictly enforced by bullies.

In school, a boy will face pressures to be wanted by others. This does not always mean he is trained to act kind, caring, strong, or brave. He is just supposed to be able to not allow weakness. If he can't do that, he is excommunicated and picked on. No one benefits, rarely does that increase the strength of the victim, and never does it make the boys picking on him more charming, or even less weak.

This applies for girls as well. Girls will change constantly during a year as to keep outdoing other girls. Her hair, clothing, speech, thoughts will always depend on what others are seeking for. No one wins! It's a cycle of who can fake it better. I ask myself why this happens all the time, then I look at my life and I find myself doing it too, even without other's comments. Awareness is 100% my number one problem.

This may not stick out to you as directly linking with bullies, yet think of who points out your flaws when the pattern isn't perfect. When it isn't a 'I want to help you because I love you', but rather an 'I'm better than you and I'm pointing it out". Society demands balance, either everyone accepts perfection, or everyone allows their flaws recognition and kind aid. Both exist in the world, but perfection weighs more on the scales of life. We are pulled to perfection because it is addictive if we can master it's perception, but it still is just face paint, the mask can be removed.

We cannot fit societies desires! If only people would stop caring and just be themselves, the best they can be, the world would be stable. Don't believe me? Gentlemen, your goal is unachievable. You must be perfect, go ahead try, let's see how far you can get before you have a mental breakdown. Ladies, your goal always changes, you can never stop working. You are going to wear yourself to the bone, you will run out of energy, like most women actually do. Yet it must be a conscious choice to let yourself be free, it presents itself as one of the most backward ideas to our day, which makes it extremely difficult. It. Is. Possible.
Love to you all,
Shannon

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying: the electronic posting of mean spirited messages about a person, often done anonymously -Merriam Webster

You might delete it, but you can never erase it from the internet once it has been posted. Have you ever taken the time to ponder that? Really? Amanda Todd didn't, not until it was too late. Maybe you already made her mistake, maybe in the future you will be tempted, or maybe you know someone who believes they ruined their life that way.

Sound familiar? Students especially are vulnerable to become a perpetrator or victim of cyberbullying. It may be the restlessness we face during our routine that never seems to end, or the amount of time we are forced to be together, or just our sheer immaturity; it couldn't matter less. It cuts individuals; strikes some, shatters others, never to fully recover, and can even come to the breaking point of deranged actions and even suicide. 

Sometimes cyberbullying is inadvertent. Sarcasm is contagious among younger generations, like a disease, joking around can easily transfer into cyberbullying. Your words are flat and left to interpretation online, meaningless ideas can be taken the wrong way, to be thrown back in a devastating way that is left to suffocate spirits. Intentional or not, it doesn't matter it's still bullying.

To anyone who posts anything online, 

         You are capable of cyberbullying, think before you post. Never create anything online that may be taken the wrong way, but if something gets twisted, tell people what you meant. You can't completely fix something you put out there, just be careful. I'm sure you have heard this a million times, this time, actually listen! If you hurt someone else, their life is on you. You don't know what else they have going on in their life, so you have no right to add to their misfortune. While you may think something is just a joke or funny, think what message is sent to the rest of the world. Would you say that to a family member? If not, why are you saying it to your peer? Is it kind and loving and will aid to human growth and interaction? No? Then you have no right to say it. If you make this mistake there is always time for an apology, a sincere one. Just recognize the power you hold in being able to ruin another masterpiece of God with a few strokes to a keyboard. 

To those who have experienced cyberbullying,

        You are not alone. There are others out there who have become victims, you can get though this. Now that you got your daily dose of generic phrases I want to be serious with you. Stop and think. Has it changed your life forever? Work with it if it has, don't let it control you, those words mean nothing if you don't act like the person they belong to. Who cares what they say?

Let me give you an example... People say that I have a tendency to not care about others. The only problem with their logic is that if you were in peril I would put every effort in to save you. I don't know you at all, I don't care who you are, I would. I know both my heart and my mind would tell me to do so. Their words mean nothing to me if they aren't true. Do they bother me? Yes, but only because they are missing out on a genuine friend. It takes time to be able to say this, (I'm going a little cookie cutter advice here) but confidence is key. It is something you will gain over time, that is, if you allow (or force, in a good way;)) yourself too. 

So if you actually made it to the bottom of this post, I congratulate you! It was a bit long but I am praying that you stuck with my words. Cyberbullying impacts all of us, whether we are the cause, the victim, or the end. Hopefully you see this and feel the same way. Thank you for putting your time into reading my post. As always I love you and God bless,

Shannon

Love Changes Everything

Bully. Such a simple word. Today, we see it as a person who is cruel to others for their own benefit. This was not it's original meaning, in fact being called a bully used to be a compliment. Throughout time the word has lost it's positivity and evolved into something of less joy, perhaps even more anger.

Bullies exist in all places, ages, races, and social classes. There is no escaping them, you just need to stop listening and start loving them. Now, do not confuse yourself and believe that everyone is a bully, while we all have our bully-like tendencies and qualities, some people have circumstances that blindly turn them into a bully. Just as the meaning of the word changed, people can change for the better or the worse.

Bullying can start even with a young child. A boy or girl, barely able to think, but old enough to mimic can easily become a bully if put in a bad situation. A troubled home is most visibly (to me) the cause of young bullies. When put into a social event, such as school, the child can act as someone they have seen, or even unknowingly be cruel to others, psychologically allowing themselves an outlet.

As the child grows, the opportunity for a change can become more accessible, the choice can be purposeful. Issues can become more physically violent; fights can start out of sick amusement, to publicly torture someone, or even to let physical abuse damage them mentally. New ways to torture a victim are found, such as cyber bullying, cascading a blanket of sadness, anger, despair, and frustration around an entire life. Even worse, in the teen years especially, it can lead to much more serious consequences, like self harm.

Into adulthood, bullying can still exist. Humans as a whole see bullying as insecurity and a lack of maturity. Normally adults would have developed security and maturity through their time spent on Earth so far, but if they never gain those qualities it can prove to have a lasting impact on their character.

There is hope in my words though. If one can become a bully, one can become a kind, self confident, selfless person. This can even be true of an adult who has lived their whole life walking down the path of being lonely and insecure. In fact, it can create an instance in which ex-bullies can console those who are still going through the pain they used to or victims of their pain.

Hope this raises your awareness that bullies are in pain, no matter the age, or any characteristic. They can be helped, you just have to reach out, love them, and pray for God's Will. Thank you for taking time to read this,
Shannon

Week 1: Let's Get Started

First of all, this is a Genius Hour blog, meaning I am writing about a subject I find interesting and would much rather be working on than anything else. I am truly committed to this subject in particular because of my past, present, and most likely, future. I am very interested in working with people and to me, this is a great way to start learning about that field of study. Now on to the project plan!
This blog is to help put into perspective and understand what bullying is and how it is effecting the teens of this day and age. I want to know why we have bullies, but just as importantly I want to know how to make the world a happier place by reducing the amount of bullies. This has been a subject really placed on my heart, along with service in general. The idea of helping even one person is more than I could ask for. This blog is not only for my own personal use, it is for everyone. Every single person has a part in contributing somehow to stop the inequality occurring each day all around us. Bullying isn't what it used to be, it's evolved, and it's our responsibility to get it back under control. If this blog can help me put this situation in words, then maybe you will see that action needs to be taken. This blog will contain, but is not limited to: Origins/Evolution of Bullies, Bullies in School, Cyberbullying, Girls vs. Boys and how they differ, How to Help when You See Bullying, How to Overcome the Fear of Bullies, How to Ask for Help, Bullies I have Met and Challenged, and How to not let Bullies Decide who You are. My own personal beliefs will be thrown in this blog, so do be mindful if you comment and remember this blog is for useful purposes only, not rants. Thank you for taking the time to read this blog and wish me luck!
-Shannon