I am a girl, but honestly I don't believe ladies have it any harder than gentleman. My conclusion comes from people watching, when I'm out in places I like to look busy and just listen to people and watch their actions, purposely. I have seen girls who are scared, confused, who are lost in a sea of sadness. This also is true of men; they put on a face, but if you truly look, you see their doubt and fear. Have you ever looked at people, really looked at their facial expressions, how they change when they stop talking to someone, or how they have that one brief second where the mask comes off and you can see what they feel?
That being said, I don't believe even for a second the burdens are the same. Men carry around a burden of being perfect; women, being better than the next woman. For a guy, a foundation has been laid through movies and other media alike to be prince charming, strong, brave, tough, no weakness. Women are allowed to cry,complain, even be scared, as long as they have something about them that increases their desirability while doing so. Society has set a pattern in which both genders must follow, patterns unconformable, yet strictly enforced by bullies.
In school, a boy will face pressures to be wanted by others. This does not always mean he is trained to act kind, caring, strong, or brave. He is just supposed to be able to not allow weakness. If he can't do that, he is excommunicated and picked on. No one benefits, rarely does that increase the strength of the victim, and never does it make the boys picking on him more charming, or even less weak.
This applies for girls as well. Girls will change constantly during a year as to keep outdoing other girls. Her hair, clothing, speech, thoughts will always depend on what others are seeking for. No one wins! It's a cycle of who can fake it better. I ask myself why this happens all the time, then I look at my life and I find myself doing it too, even without other's comments. Awareness is 100% my number one problem.
This may not stick out to you as directly linking with bullies, yet think of who points out your flaws when the pattern isn't perfect. When it isn't a 'I want to help you because I love you', but rather an 'I'm better than you and I'm pointing it out". Society demands balance, either everyone accepts perfection, or everyone allows their flaws recognition and kind aid. Both exist in the world, but perfection weighs more on the scales of life. We are pulled to perfection because it is addictive if we can master it's perception, but it still is just face paint, the mask can be removed.
We cannot fit societies desires! If only people would stop caring and just be themselves, the best they can be, the world would be stable. Don't believe me? Gentlemen, your goal is unachievable. You must be perfect, go ahead try, let's see how far you can get before you have a mental breakdown. Ladies, your goal always changes, you can never stop working. You are going to wear yourself to the bone, you will run out of energy, like most women actually do. Yet it must be a conscious choice to let yourself be free, it presents itself as one of the most backward ideas to our day, which makes it extremely difficult. It. Is. Possible.
Love to you all,
Shannon
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